Let’s have some real talk.
Liking someone who does not share the same feelings, absolutely is one of the worst. While it’s not the end of the world, it may seem like it at first (especially if you’re dramatic like me, haha). I realize though that things work out the way they do for unknown reasons.
We all have to make mistakes to learn and move on.
My biggest mistake was clinglyness. I always said I wasn’t going to be one of those girls. I don’t really need anyone, maybe the loneliness started to set in? I’m still not sure what happened; It happened so fast. I suppose my lesson for that, is to chill; slow down, take a deep breathe even if you’re excited. I painted a picture of myself as an excited little puppy, wagging it’s tail whenever the owner came home. Something a woman should never be.
My second mistake was listening to what others had to say. Toward the ending of whatever it was, I listened to what some friends had to say of what I should do. Which in turn made me look like a super clingy, demanding diva. In some scenerios I suppose that’s good. Relationship wise, it’s not. My lesson on that; your relationship to others is just that, yours. Reguardless if anyone else trust them or not, listening to your heart leads you better than what others say.
Being insecure is okay, but be wise about it. We all have those small little voices that tell us, “They’ll never like you cause you’re to fat, ugly, not good enough,” etc etc. Relax and think positive. How we see ourselves, are ultimately how others see us. If you’re confident, he will be. I had and still have way to many insecurities that stand in my way a lot. Especially about relationships. He would want to see me, I didn’t want to because I couldn’t get over the fact of being nervous and being insecure of how I looked. Looking back now, if I would have went more, perhaps things would be different. It’s hard to accept that you are worthy of someones love, but you are.
Texting is a much easier relationship than looking the person in the face. It makes you feel more confident because you can 100% be yourself. If this person is for you, it can still be that way. The nervousness I had lasted until I saw him. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, until he went into kiss me. 23 years, never been kissed, needless to say, I wanted to run as fast I could. Haha.
One of the biggest things, (with me, anyway) is a connection. When you feel a certain way for someone you haven’t felt before, it’s something you want to stay in. You want that person with you and you want to be with them. You genuinely want to make sure that person is okay. What they did that day. What interests them. How their life in general is going. You want nothing but the best for that person even if you’re not it. I wish him nothing but happiness. After all he made me feel something I thought I would never feel. I miss seeing him. I still miss talking to him. Sometimes I find myself still comparing guys I talk to, too him.
After everything happened, I apologized for all that I did. Honestly, he probably thought that I would have smothered him if we were to get into a relationship; even though I’m not like that. Relationships are 100 and 100. I don’t agree with what half the population of girls do, (such as tracking apps on phones, checking phones unless he wants me too, having to know where he is at ALL times).
Ladies, we should give our guys a little bit of room to breath. You had a life before them just as they had a life before you. Clingyness is not attractive on anyone. Trust me, I know it’s hard to not want to jump head first into it. Take a deep breath, and know that this guy doesn’t define you. Whether or not he likes you, does not say anything about YOU. Slow down a bit. Do the opposite of what I did, and be so slow, he thinks you’re not interested and chases you.
Find someone who loves you a little more than you love them.