He made the decision.

Let’s have some real talk.

Liking someone who does not share the same feelings, absolutely is one of the worst. While it’s not the end of the world, it may seem like it at first (especially if you’re dramatic like me, haha). I realize though that things work out the way they do for unknown reasons.

We all have to make mistakes to learn and move on.

My biggest mistake was clinglyness. I always said I wasn’t going to be one of those girls. I don’t really need anyone, maybe the loneliness started to set in? I’m still not sure what happened; It happened so fast. I suppose my lesson for that, is to chill; slow down, take a deep breathe even if you’re excited. I painted a picture of myself as an excited little puppy, wagging it’s tail whenever the owner came home. Something a woman should never be.

My second mistake was listening to what others had to say. Toward the ending of whatever it was, I listened to what some friends had to say of what I should do. Which in turn made me look like a super clingy, demanding diva. In some scenerios I suppose that’s good. Relationship wise, it’s not. My lesson on that; your relationship to others is just that, yours. Reguardless if anyone else trust them or not, listening to your heart leads you better than what others say.

Being insecure is okay, but be wise about it. We all have those small little voices that tell us, “They’ll never like you cause you’re to fat, ugly, not good enough,” etc etc. Relax and think positive. How we see ourselves, are ultimately how others see us. If you’re confident, he will be. I had and still have way to many insecurities that stand in my way a lot. Especially about relationships. He would want to see me, I didn’t want to because I couldn’t get over the fact of being nervous and being insecure of how I looked. Looking back now, if I would have went more, perhaps things would be different. It’s hard to accept that you are worthy of someones love, but you are.

Texting is a much easier relationship than looking the person in the face. It makes you feel more confident because you can 100% be yourself. If this person is for you, it can still be that way. The nervousness I had lasted until I saw him. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, until he went into kiss me. 23 years, never been kissed, needless to say, I wanted to run as fast I could. Haha.

One of the biggest things, (with me, anyway) is a connection. When you feel a certain way for someone you haven’t felt before, it’s something you want to stay in. You want that person with you and you want to be with them. You genuinely want to make sure that person is okay. What they did that day. What interests them. How their life in general is going. You want nothing but the best for that person even if you’re not it. I wish him nothing but happiness. After all he made me feel something I thought I would never feel. I miss seeing him. I still miss talking to him. Sometimes I find myself still comparing guys I talk to, too him.

After everything happened, I apologized for all that I did. Honestly, he probably thought that I would have smothered him if we were to get into a relationship; even though I’m not like that. Relationships are 100 and 100. I don’t agree with what half the population of girls do, (such as tracking apps on phones, checking phones unless he wants me too, having to know where he is at ALL times).

Ladies, we should give our guys a little bit of room to breath. You had a life before them just as they had a life before you. Clingyness is not attractive on anyone. Trust me, I know it’s hard to not want to jump head first into it. Take a deep breath, and know that this guy doesn’t define you. Whether or not he likes you, does not say anything about YOU. Slow down a bit. Do the opposite of what I did, and be so slow, he thinks you’re not interested and chases you.

Find someone who loves you a little more than you love them.

Relationship responsibly.

Are you entitled?

Word of the day: Self Entitled
Definition: A state of mind in which an individual comes to believe that privileges are instead rights, and that they are to be expected as a matter of course.

We really want to ask why people are the way they are now? We can’t see how many things have changed?

I believe people have a right to do as they please, helloooo, America, right?! But there is a huge fine line to all this.

How many things, rules even have changed to fit lifestyles in just the past few years?

We all want what we want, yet we don’t want consequence. We feel very entitled.

We have lost our morals, principles, guidelines, self respect, respect for others. And why, do you ask? We feel VERY entitled.

We don’t want to work for things, we feel things should come to us. People should bend the rules to fit OUR lifestyles. Life should be one huge party all day and all night. I should be allowed to do what I want, BUT I’m not going to accept any of the consequences. Why?? Because I’m entitled!

I hope you sensed the sarcasm in this. I also hope you realize the only way to live life is not by being entitled, but by being a person who accepts responsibility for your actions, help those who in need, be someone who puts others first.

The only way our people can prosper and grow as a people, isn’t by entitlment, by integrity.

Our Rhythm

Have you ever listened to a song or perhaps read a quote, passage, etc, and it made you think??
As I was listening to, “Chained to the Rhythm” by Katy Perry, I thought of two points she makes in the song.

1. Nobody is alike. We’re all different, yet the media tries to come up with ways to make us all the same. Dress a certain way, think, act, even SPEAK a certain way. Why have we become so settled with the idea, “immitation is the sincerest form of flattery?” Let’s be ourselves!

Why can’t individuality be in style? You are you for a reason!

2. There is a world of which we haven’t broken into yet. Stop living in your own bubble and explore. Let’s help the neighbors. Let’s walk a day in someone elses shoes who have less than we do. Let’s go explore the world as a whole and not just the hole we live in.

Life is short. Do you want to be like everybody else? Or do you want to be your own kind of rhythm?

“Know yourself, Know your worth.”

Being yourself, is better than being someone else.

As good ole Drake says,
“Know yourself, know your worth”

Do we actually know and live by those words?

I’ve wanted to do a blog on this subject for a while because it’s something, I, myself, have had and are suffering with it now.

Sometimes I forget about me, and while most would say that is a great trait to have, some would disagree. I’m on the fence. I’m usually a upbeat kind of person, so I feel it can be mostly a blessing than a curse.

The blessing is, being able to always make people happy. The curse is letting what others say bog you down; and it does.

Keeping yourself up-to-date with yourself, is a necessary factor in happiness. How can I be happy if I don’t know what makes me happy? Life is too short to be sad and depressed; let’s get happy!

It’s taken a while and several different events to prove to myself, I need to be my own cheer section. It’s something that has to start within. Some days are easier than others, but as you find yourself and stuff that make you happy, the better days will out number the bad.

The last step to finding the one true happiness is not just within yourself, but within God. God alone can make you feel better. Not saying my Christian life has been wonderful and glorious because I’ve had some of my own battles, but God has helped me through them all.

If you’re not sure of your calling, please make preparations today!

Thanks for reading.

xoxo

How firm is thy foundation?

When you build a house, what is the house built on? A foundation. Depending on the foundation, is how steady or unsteady the house will be. When we were all babies, we looked to our parents too give us what we needed. Love, care, attention THEY were and still are our foundation.

I realize what I’m about to say will step on toes. But I’ve been thinking a lot on this subject lately. God’s laid it on my heart for the past few days, even weeks. I’ve just been quiet about it.

I don’t understand people. I don’t understand their concepts of what they do. Your children look up to you. They look to YOU for advice, for a stable life, for something they can hold on too. That’s what they need. And especially teenagers.

We look around at teens and even younger and wonder what their problem is. If your parents don’t love you, and they leave you or worse, no wonder you don’t know what to do. We want to blame music, because it puts ideas in their minds, we want to blame social media, because phones have taken over their minds. We lash out at that because that’s easy.

What’s not easy is admitting that we are part of the problem and instead of trying to fix it we ignore it and hope it’ll go away.

As a teen, I remember I was very impressionable. Instead of focusing on God and improving myself, I was focusing on what others said and thought about me. This often gives bullies the power to manipulate minds and have others thinking they aren’t good enough, resulting in cutting, other attempts at hurting themselves or worse suicide.

The day we open our eyes to see that the kids who are (what we like to say, troubled) and they refer to themselves as, misunderstood, are the ones who just want love. They just want someone to say, “I’m proud of you,” “I love you,” “You’re doing a great job,” etc.

Instead of judging and hurting, start listening and helping.

Half sweet, half unsweet tea.

I’ve noticed a problem within myself; anytime something goes wrong in my life, I always second guess who Emily is.
I’ve been working on finding who I am. What I wanna do, etc etc. But the huge problem I have is not an outward thing, it’s not a respect myself thing, it’s… confidence in whatever I’m doing now is right. It’s the part most people lack because we see ourselves as not good enough.

Being upset with yourself when things go bad and second guessing what you’re doing wrong is like wanting the PERFECT half sweet half unsweet tea.

Sometimes you get to much sweet. When life is good, it’s really good. This is the time most people don’t pray or seek God out. You think, why would I?! Life is going smooth, I have no worries, no problems.

But then, sometimes you get too much unsweet, making the tea real bitter. God gives us the tribulations to make us realize how sweet life is. He gives us hard times to make us feel emotions. Wanting to feel good and happy all the time is like wanting to walk through the rain without getting wet; it doesn’t happen.

Allowing yourself too feel all emotions will help you cope better in life. Never stop believing in yourself and your ability to do what you know you should. Always trust that for whatever reason you’re going through something that might change you, help you, or mold you but never break you.

A good verse to remember is, Matthew 5:45
“.. for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust..”

So remember even on your unsweet days, God has a whole sweetner he’s adding too your cup. Stop second guessing yourself and also him. Learn from the event and move onto bigger things in your life. 🍵

We rise by uplifting.

It hurts to be put down. It hurts to be bullied. We don’t take into consideration that people are all different; we just see the outward appearance. I’ve come to a realization that the things we see, aren’t always the case. Most people we come into contact with are really good at hiding how they feel and how they are.
I live a very simple life with a phrase that is cliche but very effective; treat others the way I want to be treated.

If we looked at each person as a piece of ourselves, our attitudes would be different. We  have souls, feelings. Two eyes that cry when we’re sad. Hearts that break when those we love hurt us.

The thing most lack is empathy. While it sounds a lot like sympathy, empathy is a bit different. Empathetic people can place themselves in the other persons point of view. They can feel what that other person feels. That’s the thing; we’re so blind to our own problems, we forget those out there with real issues.

One thing that is hard for me to learn, even now, my life is too blessed to be stressed over one person or one thing. There are millions of others who have to sleep outside tonight. They have to dig in the garbage to find food to feed themselves. And I’m letting my minor problem stand in the way of having the blessed life God wants me to have?

If you know someone struggling, help them. It’s kind of crazy how a kind word can go a long way; but it can. Living a blessed life means helping those as God has helped us. Let’s uplift those around us, even the one we may never see again.

Just Thankful.

In this blog, I just want to praise God.
I have had a hard time with things lately. And it’s really starting to affect my walk with God. I was so thankful to have certain things happen, and when they didn’t go exactly how I thought they should, I wouldn’t say I got hard hearted, I just got distant. I still pray and still seek God, but I’m not where I want to be. Make that, i’m not where I should be.

A few things I’m thankful for….

I’m thankful for May 7, 2000. As a six year old, God revealed to me of where I was going if I didn’t accept him. I think it’s sweet when little children come to Christ. As he says, to have faith like a child. Little did we know, some of us would take that literally… haha. 🙂

I’m thankful for my family/friends. I’m thankful for the friendships I have with my parents. ( Also aunt and cousins ). The Godly influences of my grandparents, on both sides. I only knew my papaw (moms dad) for 16 years and while that seems like a long time, it was a blink of an eye. My only regret is not taking enough time out of my day to go spend it with him. Or my nana (dads mom). God sure blessed me with them.

I’m thankful for my job. It’s taken me a long time to get where I am. I know God had a purpose for me being there. We are honestly one big family. I love them so much. I wouldn’t trade any of them for anything. They are all a blessing and even though we get on each others nerves, we know at the end of the day, we can count on each other; that’s what matters. It’s great going to a job you love.

I’m thankful for my church family. Nothing in this world feels any better than having a place you can call, “home” outside of home that is Gods house. At first I admit, I was a little leary of it. These people seemed to good to be true. But believe it or not, there are good people in this world that do have true intentions. God sure blessed me with my church family!

I’m thankful for my car. It’s a little silly, I’ll admit but it’s a answered prayer and a huge blessing in my life. It’s one of the many things that reminds me of how God blesses me daily.

I’m thankful for all the trails, temptations, down falls, times I’ve been distressed. Times I’ve given up. When I feel like quitting. When I can’t seem to hold on any longer, God reminds me that little shred of hope I have is as long as he makes it. When I feel like giving up, he expands it a little more. It reminds me, that I can’t make it on my own. I have to rely on him.

And lastly, I’m thankful God gives second chances. If not for those, I do not know where I would be right now. I believe in giving people another shot, because God gave one to me. It’s not always easy and sometimes we feel it’s not worth it. But God can turn a nothing into a something. He can intervene in peoples lives and make a change. Prayer is our way of asking him to spare them the second chance and the change.

The list could go on of what I’m thankful for. If we sit down and think about the things we’re thankful for, the other parts of our lives will fall into place. The good will out weigh the bad.

“Why did I fall in love?”

Lets start out as, what is love?

Its an overly used word that, too me, has lost its meaning. When did love become hook ups and casual sex? Or better yet, why do WE allow that to be the definition? Isn’t it suppose to be a sacred emotion that is described when two souls match?

Why do we confuse “love” for “lust?” People will say just about anything to get what they want. Rather than thinking to the future and how we want to be, we have let ourselves be in the now and what will satisfy us. It’s kind of sad we have lost that self respect.

Love is so much deeper then people realize. It’s not a feeling that can be caught over night, like a cold. It’s a growing respect for the other person. It’s a learning process that not only allows you to get to know that person, but also yourself. It’s something that reminds us daily how God has blessed us.

To have another soul you can bear yours too, sure there will be ups and downs but who can lift you up when others knock you down? If you can’t say your significant other, maybe you aren’t in love? Sometimes, love and infatuation can be tricky. They can feel alike, but there is a huge difference.

In the first stages of a relationship, you go through the honey moon phase. That person can do no wrong, right? To you, their perfect. But what happens when something sets them off? When you see their true colors? If you can go through hard times with them, it’s love. If not, I think you can safely say, you were just excited over having someone. That person wasn’t for you.

Before marriage, I strongly believe everyone should have marriage counseling. Even if you guys are perfectly fine and feel you shouldn’t. It gives a chance to sit down and ask yourself, “Why did I fall in love?” “Is this relationship something that benefits the both of us?”

In my opinion, true love always sees the good. Not saying, you continually see that person as “perfect,” but you love them in all their flaws; and vice versa. You benefit from one another. You help the other to grow. You do whatever is necessary too get that person to reach their full potential. Life is hard, coming home to a cheer section, helps.

In my closing, I’d to ask you one thing. When is the last time you took the time to appreciate that person? When is the last time you showed them rather than telling you love them? Talk is 20% but Showing is 80% of love.