My Revelation

As a young Christian, I get tempted a lot. More so than I’d like to say. Not really about anything in particular, but one thing I am so totally afraid of, is somehow (without knowing) selling my soul.

One day, I was reading online (probably something to do with psychology) and an ad popped up. Of course I pressed on it and began to read what it was about. The article told the celebrities that have sold their souls in exchange for fame. I began to wonder, “how would one go even about doing that?” It sounds funny, but I suppose the devil took my question as a “sparked interest.”

Every since then, the biggest thing he drills me on is selling my soul. I have no interest what-so-ever. Even the thought scares me too death.

A few nights ago I stayed the night with my mamaw. I always sleep on the couch because I can watch TV.  When I first dozed off to sleep, I began to say a bible verse. I really can’t remember what exactly the verse was but by this point I had kind of woken up because I was trying to figure out why I’d be saying that particular verse. I believe it was along the lines of Joshua 1:9
Then I dozed back off.

The second dream, I was laying in my mamaws back room. I began to feel hopeless, powerless, vulnerable, doom, sadness. I was screaming, crying. I started to pray and say “Lord help me” over and over again. I woke up and I couldn’t breathe. I felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest. I felt the same emotions I felt in my dream. I could feel an evil around me. I didn’t know what to do, so I started to pray.

Today is Wednesday, I sat at home after I cleaned the house and started to think about my day. On my days off I like to be lazy and just lay at home. I started to contemplate going to our Wednesday night prayer meetings. I thought, “The Lord won’t hold this against me if I don’t go one night.” Then I started to analyze. The Lord has done huge things in my life already to start out my new year off. Plus he blesses me everyday that I don’t deserve. Why can’t I go to church and learn more about him and get closer to him?

Of course the sinful thoughts then broke out and I ALMOST decided not to go. A few minutes later I was looking at pinterest. I like looking at different ideas for organizing houses and stuff. I came across a picture and clicked it to see what the words said. On a wall for decoration was the bible verse found in Joshua. The first part of the verse reads, “Choose whom ye will serve..”

I knew God had used that to get to me. See, how many times does God bless and see us through things and we totally blow him off? Today, I decided nothing will stop me. Nothing will come between my soul and the savior. I will choose to serve him always. God is good.

My filthy rags

I was asked a question the other day and I have wracked my brain trying to figure out how to answer it. Then it hit me in church tonight. The question was, “why do we not recognize Mary on mothers day?” I hope I answer this as well as it was presented.

After a moments thought, I smiled and replied, “why do we not recognize God on father’s day?” Why do we not recognize God everyday? Tonight’s message in church was from Isiah chapter 64:1-12. As my preacher read, verses 5-6 stood out to me.

5 “Thou meetest him that rejoiceth and worketh righteousness, those that remember thee in thy ways: behold, thou art wroth; for we have sinned: in those is continuance, and we shall be saved.”
6 “But we are all as an unclean thing, and all our righteousnesses are as filthy rags; and we all do fade as a leaf; and our iniquities, like the wind, have taken us away.”

I see where the question comes from. We as humans can’t imagine what it’d be like for one of our own to see what she seen while Jesus was being crucified. I’m sure it was like her heart was being ripped out of her body. But God gave her the grace she needed to get through it. Just as he gives us the grace we need to go through trails. I believe the reason we do not immortalize Mary is because she is just another sinner saved by grace. And just like verse 6 says, our righteousness are as filthy rags. The only good thing about Mary was Christ in her. The only good thing about myself is Christ in me.

I’m leaving you with this thought. If we can afford to put ourselves (Mary) on a pedestal, why can’t we praise God who truly deserves it?